He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Randomize
