I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
You were wearing a cookie monster onesie and telling everyone you were actually the sausage monster..
On the bright side I still got laid
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
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