I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
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