I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
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