I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
Seriously, I was a high class hooker. I was snorting shit Rachel, white powder, lines formed with credit cards, the dudes house was beautiful. Magnum condom. Adorable puppy dog. Pretty sure at some point I was sleeping on a washing machine. Boxing Gloves.
Those were the highlights of my night.
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
Randomize
