Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
Randomize
