i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
Randomize