dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Randomize
