I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
Today's walk of shame includes last nights hair and make up, an 8 hour shift, me leading a meeting and me throwing up in a parking lot on my way to work. Dear world, you're welcome.
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
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