Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
Randomize
