You can't motorboat a personality
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
Randomize
