we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
Randomize
