It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
Then, halfway through our conversation, I remembered what you drunkenly told me last night and was all "maintain eye contact, do not look at his massive penis".
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
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