margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
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