i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
fuck your aforementioned shoe
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
Randomize
