In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
Accidentally mixed my gin with cold brew coffee instead of cranberry juice. It’s bad. But I’ll finish it. Never leave a fallen soldier.
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