no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
Randomize