By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
Randomize
