we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
Randomize