He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
totally just realized while washing my face that Cetaphil looks like semen.
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
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