woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
Just had a pleasant conversation with a mugger while he was taking off my shoes. Why can't I get along with people like this sober?
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
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