If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
sick fucks of a feather flock together
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
The air taste purple.
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