Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
Ya’ll! My debit card got switched with my boss’ at lunch today (both Red Wells Fargo)....I realized it at whole foods AFTER I ran it for $100 at Vanity Room getting my vaj waxed 🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️. Most awkward IOU ever tomorrow.
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
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