im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
In 30 minutes I will have been sober for an entire month. Time for a celebratory lap of cheap alcohol that leads to early liver failure.
But happy liver failure. That's what counts.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
Randomize