a kid in a transformers shirt tried to pick me up last night at work. he also rolled up on a bicycle, the kind with pedals. do i look that easy?
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
I swear to god there was like a 2-second timespan in which he went from laughing to coughing, hiccuping, and subsequently projectile vomiting into the grass. There is literally a line in the grass, about 2 yards long, of his puke. It was more impressive than disgusting to be honest. And then he just shrugged and said "I have no idea where that came from."
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
I think pants incapable of making pants work
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
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