i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
got arrested for "breaking and entering" last night when i supposedly went into the wrong house made a sandwich and tried jerking off to porn on the tv...the cops told me they came in while my dick was out...oh and i missed work this morning and got fired
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
Randomize