hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
Things I find upon waking: a gay man, a straight girl both clad in web bathing suits, a full bathtub, an empyt bottle of jamesons at the bottom and a scuba mask
He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
The fact that the praying hands are in my top emojis defines how 2016 is going so far
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