She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
you inspire me to be a worse person
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
The brides mom put a 6 year old in charge of me to make sure I don’t get too drunk before the wedding
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
Randomize
