Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
Um....I woke up to a lipgloss covered bottle of Jack daniels in my arms..
You've kissed worse.
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
Randomize
