You're my little dorito
i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
Randomize
