I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
My friend Julia's mom just called her to say she got a puzzle in the mail made of cheese and when she put it together it spelled FUCK YOU and she doesn't know who it's from.
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
Randomize
