they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
Randomize
