Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
I just gave her a sobriety test in the middle of the baking aisle.
And the results, officer?
She's fucked.
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
Randomize
