Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
Randomize