She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
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