My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
Randomize
