I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
I don't think I can fit "I'm sorry for ruining Christmas" on one cake. Better make two.
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize
