With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
I'm getting married
To pizza
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
Randomize
