i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
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