I want to make a zoo with you.
You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
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If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
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Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
Slutty costumes are my most sacred holiday tradition! Wearing a not-slutty costume is like putting cheezwiz on a communion wafer.
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
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