I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
Randomize
