This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize
