That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
Randomize
