Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
Just got a message from a guy on a dating site who says he helped me remove lime pulp from my eye in a club toilet 2 weeks ago.
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I just sent my ex a video snap chat of me getting head from some Venezuelan hottie with the caption I still love you. Think she'll take me back?
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
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