I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
Randomize
