I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
So I'm on the can right now reading a court transcript for an appeal. Some dude is paying $155 an hour for me to take a shit.
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
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