Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
He is such a slut. More and more my type.
Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
So I have the hangover from hell, spent all night puking, and there's a septic tank truck parked outside the house literally pumping shit. You win God.
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
Randomize
