i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
Our house almost burnt down last night. I woke up at 4:10am to the smoke alarm going off bc the bean bag chair was on fire so i extinguished it and smoked a bowl at 4:20 to celebrate my fire extinguishing abilities
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
I got Pilsbury cinnamon rolls for us to have tomorrow, but I don't have the willpower to leave them in my fridge overnight, so I am eating them all and getting us more in the morning
I love you more by the minute
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
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