I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
To my ex and my favorite mistake: I totally enjoyed hearing you have erectile disfunction via baby monitor!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
Randomize