So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
Swear to god, if I have to wingman for you on my honeymoon I'm gonna be pissed
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
The cashier looked at my basket, looked at me and said "That's a lot of wine." I looked at her and said "Mother in law." She nodded approvingly.
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
Randomize
