She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
Randomize
