ya dads aren't the best wingmen
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
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