I love black thongs
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
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Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
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How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
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